This isn’t something I like to talk about very much, but I think it’s important for some people to hear. I have struggled with depression on and off for my whole life. Becoming a single mom certainly did not help. I am very good at showing up to school and work with a big smile and cheery attitude, but when I am home there are days when I don’t want to move. Luckily school and kids have kept me very busy, but it just isn’t a good way to live.
In March my friend told me about the 21 Day Fix and I jumped right into it and it completely changed my life. Even though I was incredibly busy with school, clinicals, work, and taking care of my kids all by myself I made the time to get in my workouts every single day; sometimes that meant coming home from clinical at 11:30pm and working out before bed, but I got it done. There is something incredibly therapeutic about taking care of yourself. The sense of pride and accomplishment you get when you see your body changing before your eyes is amazing, and the sense of purpose coaching has given me is indescribable.
I recently let myself slip back into my old bad habits of skipping workouts and, not surprisingly, I found myself having no energy to get off the couch to do anything. Today I decided to kick my butt back into gear and do another round of the 21 day fix, and after finishing my first workout I feel like a totally different person. I will be forever grateful for my coach bringing this program into my life.
I would love for you to become a part of my team so we can support each other on our fitness journey. Send me a message on Facebook (Jessica M. Salgot) or an email (firstname.lastname@example.org).❤️
Alright, so I admit I am one of those crazy people who starts celebrating christmas WAY too early. This year I started listening to Christmas music in June, but that’s besides the point. Today I was listening to Christmas music (yeah yeah it’s only July), and as usual it put me in the most optimistic and positive mood. It got me thinking, so many people these days forget why life is worth living. There are so many teenagers and even adults out there that take their lives because they think things will never get better. So here is my assignment for everyone (don’t worry, it’s a fun one!): Make a list of things you are looking forward to, whether it be something later today or something 10 years from now. This simple task will make you excited for tomorrow, excited for the future, excited for life!
Here is my list of things I can’t wait for:
-To go to my husband’s family’s cottage next week for a week of camping. This time we are bringing my family which should make it extra fun!
-Fall. We’re almost to August and I cannot wait to break out my sweaters and scarves and head to Starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Also, every year in the Fall we go to Becker Farms in WNY to pick apples, and I think my almost 2 year old daughter will really enjoy it this year.
-Christmas, this year and every year!
-To meet the newest addition to my family in January.
-To start nursing clinicals (hopefully) next Fall.
-To bring my kids to Disney (probably not for another 6 or 7 years, but I am still excited for it!)
-To learn French (probably not for another 10+ years, but I have always wanted to become fluent in the language so it will happen eventually!)
After thinking of all I have to look forward to I can look at life a little differently. Though things may not always be perfect and times might get tough here and there, I know that there is a lot to live for. I have way too much to do to give up now! I hope each and every one of you can find a few things to look forward to as well!
Sometimes life can be so hectic that we forget who we are. We’re so busy in our lives working, caring for our families, going to school, taking care of a home, and trying to make relationships work, we don’t have time to sit down and do the things we enjoy. Before I got married and started a family I loved to spend my Sunday mornings sitting in Starbucks with a New York Times, a scone, and a latte. Obviously once you start a family those little pleasures disappear. Not to say that there aren’t new joys to fill your day, because there are, but it’s just not realistic to think that you can quietly relax in a chair at Starbucks when you have a toddler running around screaming. And honestly, at the end of the day, I usually don’t even have the energy to read or think, even on a “day off.”
I was just going through my Facebook intending to clean it up and edit my favorite music, interests, etc. since I haven’t done so in, oh, 2-3 years. But instead of finding things I wanted to change, I found that I still have all of the same interests that I had 3 years ago. I still like the same music, I still love yoga, meditation, baking, and football, and I still like the same books and newspapers. However, I can’t remember the last time I meditated or sat down to read a newspaper; who has time for that? That’s when I realized I had lost myself in my busy life. I think it is so important to take time for yourself once in a while to regain yourself; I read that all the time in parenting magazines. It is essential to a healthy relationship to do things you enjoy and stay connected with the people in your life outside of your family so that you can appreciate what you have while still being happy. Unfortunately I can’t say that I have done a great job maintaining a healthy relationship, and perhaps it’s partly because we both forgot who we are, and we both prevent each other from being ourselves. That spells disaster in any language.
I need to make it my goal to find balance in my life, and if you feel like you are losing yourself too, then maybe you should give it a try too. If anyone finds any way that works I’d love to hear it!
Do you ever have those days when you just want to be home? On a stressful day you need to go home, curl up on the couch with a book in your pjs, and relax. For some reason the familiarity of your four walls is so comforting. When you move, however, it can feel like you’re not home anymore.. just yet anyway. In the last two years I have moved more times than I can count, and it’s emotionally trying. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to be homeless for that reason alone. Obviously it would be stressful to not know where your next meal is coming from or where to go when it rains, but on top of it all they are denied the comfort of relaxing in a familiar place. Everyone needs one place to be their sanctuary on those days when the world seems like too rough a place to be a part of. Because of that, I can’t wait to finally settle down permanently and not only have a house, but a home.
Love is like a tricky pair of goggles that make it really difficult to ever be happy. When you first meet someone you examine him for both good and bad qualities, deciding whether or not he’s someone you’re interested in. When you begin to fall in love you are blinded from all of his flaws and think he is the most perfect person in the world, regardless of how big his nose is or how obnoxiously he chews his food. Down the road if things go sour and you break up, all of a sudden all you see is his flaws, which is absolutely baffling when not long before that you thought this person was perfect. Then as time goes on and you remain single and lonely, you think about when your relationship was fresh and new and the two of you were happy, and you disregard whatever reasons you broke up in the first place, which were probably valid reasons for the two of you to not be together. This is when you make the mistake of getting back together, with your eternal optimism telling you, “It will be different this time!” No matter how many friends, co-workers, and family members tell you you’re crazy and try to remind you why it didn’t work out in the first place, you won’t hear any of it; you only care about filling that void, and this person is someone you’re comfortable with. Of course, 9 times out of 10, it’s not different. People are who they are, and generally they don’t change drastically. Though the original getting back together and making up is exciting, inevitably you will soon end up back in the same old mess of a relationship you were in before you broke up. The positive traits that you remembered so fondly while you were broken up don’t come close to outweighing the problems that led to the break-up in the first place. If going through a break-up once was hard, doing it a second time isn’t any better. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you’ve got everyone around you laughing in your face saying, “I told you so!”
Of course, I’m not a raging pessimist that doesn’t believe in love. I’m a woman, I thrive on it. We all want that fairytale life where you meet the man/woman of your dreams, fall deeply in love, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us will either spend our lives searching for our ‘soulmate’ or fighting as hard as we can to make a less-than-perfect relationship work (which at times can feel like trying to cram a square peg into a round hole). Thanks to my eternal optimism, I just know happiness will find us all sooner or later.
In the book I’m currently reading, “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, Gretchen suggests we figure out what we actually find fun. For example, though many people may find snowboarding, sledding, and skiing fun, I really can’t think of anything I would like to do less; I am horrified by the idea of purposely standing outside in below freezing temperatures wearing 25 pounds of clothing. When we’re with friends, family, and especially when we’re dating, we constantly feel the need to do what the other person wants to do and feel guilty about not enjoying said activity. If the person you’re dating takes you to a basketball game for your first date, then a club for your second, and bowling for your third, and you don’t enjoy any of those activities, you shouldn’t force yourself to like the other person’s interests. In fact, if you don’t like doing any of the same things, it’s probably not going to be a very enjoyable relationship.; yet, we guilt ourselves into thinking that it’s normal to like certain things and that we are the weird ones who just need to like it too. If you dread hanging out with someone because you know their interests are completely different, it’s probably not meant to be. Same goes with music; personally I can’t stand being around people who like music that I don’t like, because music tends to dominate modern life and I don’t want to listen to Snoop Dogg and Lil’ Wayne for 4 hours just to hang out with someone, no matter how great of a person they are. Gretchen explains that to be happy we need to focus on what we actually like, not what we or others think we should like. Many times I have found myself in the situation of liking a person and wanting to date them, so I’ve tried to teach myself to like The Ramones, winter sports, partying, and so on, and in the end I drive myself crazy with misery pretending to be someone I’m not. Similar to my last blog, I strongly push people to be who they are and don’t try to change yourself or others. I’m a big supporter of the statement, “If you need to change someone to like them, then you don’t really like them.” So if you like knitting and listening to Enya, then you should knit and listen to Enya, don’t pretend you like rap and go out clubbing to meet new people! I know a ton of people think reading, writing, and yoga are boring but it’s what I like to do; I am boring and proud!
Today is the day that “I have arrived,” as some would say. There comes a point in everyone’s life (hopefully) that you look back at all of your decisions, mistakes, triumphs, and memories and make peace with yourself. Though things might have gone smoother, some conflicts avoided, you let go of all your regrets and ill-feelings and just know that you have made the right choices for yourself. This epiphany just occurred to me when I was looking at old pictures, and then new pictures of people that were once in my life but are no longer, and instead of feeling any sort of nostalgia or resentment over how they’ve achieved happiness without me, I actually smiled and felt happy for them. I suppose it could just be the amount of caffeine in my system, but I honestly believe that I have officially come to terms with how my life has worked out so far and the mystery that is my future. I’m actually excited (though nervous) for the future, and completely content with the present. I hope this happens to all of you. It feels incredible to let go of any hatred or anger you harbor towards anyone (including yourself) and just live in the moment knowing everything happened for a reason, and everything will work out in the end. There is really no point in suffering for something you cannot change, and that kind of stress is bad for you mentally as well as physically. As happiness expert/author Gretchen Rubin says, “Act the way you want to feel.” In other words, just force yourself to smile and eventually the smile will be sincere.