Playas Gon’ Play

There are a few quotes that pop into my mind when I think about the concept of cheating: “Cheaters cheat for a reason,” and “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

As for the first quote, “Cheaters cheat for a reason,” is that a justifiable claim?  Perhaps in some cases it could be.  For example, if you feel that you are trapped in a loveless marriage, especially if horrible issues such as abuse are involved, that is a decent reason to seek love elsewhere.  On the other hand, what is keeping you married to someone you don’t want to be with?  If you are constantly fighting and miserable, then divorce would seem preferable to me.  If the issue is simply a less-than-remarkable sex life, however, it might seem easier to seek excitement elsewhere in addition to your marriage rather than as a replacement.  Regardless of how you feel about your significant other, regardless of how they have treated you or what has happened between you, I feel that every single person in this world deserves the dignity of a divorce over deceit.  Call me old-fashioned, but I would rather have my significant other leave me than find out they are living a double life behind my back.  It’s far more insulting to find out you have been tricked into believing someone loves you than to just be told it’s not going to work out.

The second quote, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,” is one that I hold near and dear to my heart.  I have been in countless situations where I have caught someone in a lie, and then given them multiple chances to redeem themselves.  That is what I call the Eternal Optimist Syndrome; it is so much easier to continue falling for the same line than to admit that someone will never be honest to you and things will never work out between you.  It’s like 3Lw said in the 90’s, “The playas gon’ play, them haters gonna hate, them callers gonna call, them ballers gonna ball.”  All kidding aside, I think it’s fair to say that cheaters are going to continue to cheat, especially if they are already repeat offendors.  I don’t quite understand it, but it seems that some people are just perpetual liars; perhaps because it always gets easier to lie/cheat the second time.  I’m all for second chances, but third, fourth, and fifth chances, not so much.

I don’t think I will ever understand the purpose of cheating.  To me, if I wanted to be with someone, whether it be for companionship or just sexual interest, I would want to completely be with that person.  Relationships are exhausting; why would I ever want to balance more than one at the same time?  If I wanted to seek thrills I would become a police officer in a bad city or a government assassin; much more exciting.


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