Love is like a tricky pair of goggles that make it really difficult to ever be happy. When you first meet someone you examine him for both good and bad qualities, deciding whether or not he’s someone you’re interested in. When you begin to fall in love you are blinded from all of his flaws and think he is the most perfect person in the world, regardless of how big his nose is or how obnoxiously he chews his food. Down the road if things go sour and you break up, all of a sudden all you see is his flaws, which is absolutely baffling when not long before that you thought this person was perfect. Then as time goes on and you remain single and lonely, you think about when your relationship was fresh and new and the two of you were happy, and you disregard whatever reasons you broke up in the first place, which were probably valid reasons for the two of you to not be together. This is when you make the mistake of getting back together, with your eternal optimism telling you, “It will be different this time!” No matter how many friends, co-workers, and family members tell you you’re crazy and try to remind you why it didn’t work out in the first place, you won’t hear any of it; you only care about filling that void, and this person is someone you’re comfortable with. Of course, 9 times out of 10, it’s not different. People are who they are, and generally they don’t change drastically. Though the original getting back together and making up is exciting, inevitably you will soon end up back in the same old mess of a relationship you were in before you broke up. The positive traits that you remembered so fondly while you were broken up don’t come close to outweighing the problems that led to the break-up in the first place. If going through a break-up once was hard, doing it a second time isn’t any better. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you’ve got everyone around you laughing in your face saying, “I told you so!”
Of course, I’m not a raging pessimist that doesn’t believe in love. I’m a woman, I thrive on it. We all want that fairytale life where you meet the man/woman of your dreams, fall deeply in love, and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us will either spend our lives searching for our ‘soulmate’ or fighting as hard as we can to make a less-than-perfect relationship work (which at times can feel like trying to cram a square peg into a round hole). Thanks to my eternal optimism, I just know happiness will find us all sooner or later.