Fun, Or Faux-Fun?

In the book I’m currently reading, “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, Gretchen suggests we figure out what we actually find fun.  For example, though many people may find snowboarding, sledding, and skiing fun, I really can’t think of anything I would like to do less; I am horrified by the idea of purposely standing outside in below freezing temperatures wearing 25 pounds of clothing.  When we’re with friends, family, and especially when we’re dating, we constantly feel the need to do what the other person wants to do and feel guilty about not enjoying said activity.  If the person you’re dating takes you to a basketball game for your first date, then a club for your second, and bowling for your third, and you don’t enjoy any of those activities, you shouldn’t force yourself to like the other person’s interests.  In fact, if you don’t like doing any of the same things, it’s probably not going to be a very enjoyable relationship.; yet, we guilt ourselves into thinking that it’s normal to like certain things and that we are the weird ones who just need to like it too.  If you dread hanging out with someone because you know their interests are completely different, it’s probably not meant to be.  Same goes with music; personally I can’t stand being around people who like music that I don’t like, because music tends to dominate modern life and I don’t want to listen to Snoop Dogg and Lil’ Wayne for 4 hours just to hang out with someone, no matter how great of a person they are.  Gretchen explains that to be happy we need to focus on what we actually like, not what we or others think we should like.  Many times I have found myself in the situation of liking a person and wanting to date them, so I’ve tried to teach myself to like The Ramones, winter sports, partying, and so on, and in the end I drive myself crazy with misery pretending to be someone I’m not.  Similar to my last blog, I strongly push people to be who they are and don’t try to change yourself or others.  I’m a big supporter of the statement, “If you need to change someone to like them, then you don’t really like them.”  So if you like knitting and listening to Enya, then you should knit and listen to Enya, don’t pretend you like rap and go out clubbing to meet new people!  I know a ton of people think reading, writing, and yoga are boring but it’s what I like to do; I am boring and proud!

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