As you know, my previous post was about my ongoing internal debate about what I want to do with my future. This post is along those same lines. Like I said before, something ALWAYS comes along to remind me that the path I am taking is not what I truly WANT to do, but what I feel I SHOULD do. Today the reminder was the movie “Its Complicated”. The main female character in the movie owns an incredible bakery. In high school I took culinary for one year thinking I wanted to be a chef, and even applied to Johnson & Wales University; however, my family and peers so kindly pointed out that the chances of making any sort of reliable salary in the culinary business are very small, and I was essentially peer pressured out of that dream and back to reality. The vast majority of television I watch involves Food Network shows, and my favorite movies are those that allow me to escape into a pseudo-reality such as Ratatouille and Julie & Julia. Every now and then I hit a spontaneity streak and stand up for my desires and follow my heart; I apply to a prestigious school to major in baking & pastry arts and tell everyone I know, even my most difficult opponent (my dad) that I am going to do what I want. Then, shortly thereafter, I somehow convince myself that medical school was actually my idea and talk myself out of it all over again. Back to ground zero. Of course, then there are the people in my life who are my personal cheerleaders. They boost my confidence and sway my opinion all over again with lines such as “Follow your dreams” and “Money does not buy happiness!”
So, what do I do? Sometimes I just wish I had someone to just TELL me what to do and take away my options. Then again, my distaste for authority would probably just make me do the opposite, but the gesture would be comforting. As it stands now, I am on track to start college all over again this fall at Buffalo State College. With these doubts I have been having, my current plan of escape into the culinary world (if it ever happens) is to do one or two semesters of undergraduate general education classes and then take it from there and apply to a culinary school the semester or year after that. Waste of time? Definitely. Which is extremely frustrating. Damn my indecisiveness.